Im currently sitting at "my" office, it has a great view and a bunch of great colleagues all in one place. It almost feels like I'm working here already and this is my life, But unfortunately, not. I am just a one week intern looking and seeking for a door to open in the form of an offer for a job. I have all these plans that I have made and changed, and its become a place of mess in my head, having to constantly hope and worry about things. I was told that I have caused myself unnecessary stress and worry, and that I am not fully trusting in the Lord about things. I feel like I am trusting in God in the sense to see what doors open for me and I know its given to me by God, so in that sense I can not just wait around and hope for the best, I need to be diligent in finding a way to those doors first of all. But having said all of that. What does it truly mean to trust in the Lord? Do you worry first and remind yourself you should trust in the Lord and then not worry? Or you shouldn't even worry in the first place as you know the Lord has everything under control? Well for me, the way I work is I always worry first then remind myself I should really trust in the Lord. I can't pretend I am not worried. I try to suppress my worries and give it to the Lord but sometimes they just surface up or got taken back from the Lord. Does it make sense to you? Sometimes I try to explain myself but I do not get very far with it. 

I feel that the Lord has given me this trip/opportunity to really assure me that life here is not that bad and that there is something exciting for me here. He has helped me realise that I can be away from family and lead my own life here. He has opened doors for me to certain opportunities. I can only pray and trust in him that he will provide something or guide me along as I go. I have been thinking too much about what if I do not get a job and have to return to UK without another plan? What is next? So much so, I can not think anymore about it.

What is it that the Lord wants me to learn? It is probably to put my trust in him anytime a worry comes into my head.